The day the Accountant arrived, the office felt the noose tighten around its neck. I sat there in my cubicle, however, confident. This confidence is what has gotten me this far up the ladder, and it’s what’ll get me higher.
I need that promotion.
The money that comes with it will set me up, and I could get my first album out by the end of the year. But he can’t know that, the Accountant. From what I’ve heard and learned from climbing this far up the ladder this fast, he demands all of your focus and your energy to be on board with this company.
As he drew closer, the pressure of my first meeting with him weighed down on me.
He wore a black fedora and a pencil mustache that curved up at the ends, which mirrored that practiced, corporate smile underneath it. He had a cane that seemed to be redundant, with a silver handle that had the shape of a crow’s beak extending sharply outward. He went from cubicle to cubicle–talking, smiling, and collecting actuaries as he went–bringing them to his office for some one-on-one time. Those ‘conferences’ that people referred to was the thing we all feared the most, and they seemed to be quick. All we know is that sometimes after the actuaries go into his office, they’re never seen around again.
The ones that the office spat back out seemed… changed.
Theories about where the missing guys went varied from being fired, to kidnapping, or even whispers about a promotion. All I know is that the level that I’m at in the company is the furthest I’ve made it anywhere else. And once I’m outta here I’ll have more than enough money for my new band.
The guys on level 70, the top of the ladder, make more than the combined salaries of everyone in levels 35 and under. I couldn’t believe it once I heard those numbers. Not until I saw one of them in person. I mean their suits are all greyed out, and their style is pretty boring, but their faces, their eyes and their smiles, they all just oozed money. Wealth. I mean, their teeth gleamed dollar signs.
I gotta get there.
In the lower levels climbing up to 10, you’ve got the most colors. We on level 40 have a name for them… but it’s easier to just say we look down on them. The way I see it, the ones that stay down there choose to. They refuse to work harder, they seem to not make any money at all because they’d rather talk and laugh and party and feed their habits, not the company.
The higher up the ladder you go, the more expensive suits, more smiles, and the more productivity you see. These guys work so hard, and they’re paid an unbelievable wage.
“Confident in your numbers, Jake?” My cubicle neighbor, Derek, broke my anxious trance. His slick voice cut through the humming of the office.
“Mm- Ahem,” I choked, my mouth was closed for so long I didn’t realize I had a cough in my throat. “Yeah, of course, man.” I said, finally taking my eyes off the Accountant as he collected actuaries. He had a few rows of cubicles left before he got to us. Some small talk should be fine.
“You don’t seem too confident, there. You’re leg.”
He pointed to my thigh bouncing up and down underneath my desk. “Trust me, Derek. This is excitement.” I said as I started rhythmically tapping the desk with my fingers.
His eyes squinted at me, as if he were trying to read me, but the truth was,- I didn’t even know what was making my thigh bounce like that. I didn’t notice until he pointed it out.
“Alright, man. Good luck.” He said as he turned to walk back to his cubicle, before stopping and spinning on his heel to tell me something else.
“Oh, and if erm, things, go well with the Accountant today, me and some of the guys wanted to try out…” His eyes scanned around to see if anyone was listening, as he leaned closer to me. “Karaoke,” he whispered. Why he was whispering, I had no idea.
“I really can’t.” I replied, feeling a twinge of regret inch up my spine the second I said it. “I really gotta focus on this promotion man. One more climb of the ladder, and I’ll be making enough to finally quit after another year.” I sighed, but it was true. If the Accountant has the power everyone says he does, he can get me into those upper levels, where I’ll be more financially free.
Derek looked at me disappointed, his brown eyes squinted. “Ah well,” he shrugged. “I just figured you’d be down since you know, you play the guitar and such.”
My brow furrowed. “I don’t uhm…” I gulped down the embarrassment rising in my throat. “I don’t really do singing in public places like that,” I confessed.
“Awh, I understand. Well, we’ll be missing you bud.” He said with a thoughtful smirk as he disappeared behind the wall separating our cubicles. I don’t know why he said that, I haven’t gone out with them in six months. I turned back to my desk to sift through my papers. The more I waited, the more trepidation grew. It was like with each cubicle he went to, each actuary he collected to take to the backroom, the office just kept getting bigger.
Moments later, after sitting in the feeling of apprehension had gotten bearable, I heard an unsettling knock on the window to my cubicle. It was metal on glass, it spooked the hell outta me.
I pushed off my desk as my chair rolled in front of the opening and there he was. Up close his smile was off. There was something about it that was just so hollow. And I mean after all those meetings how could he keep it pasted onto his face like that?
“Mister… Carson!” He exhaled with jovial excitement, as he read my name badge.
I let out a shaky breath before I could return his greeting.
“Hello! Mister, erm…”
“Oh don’t stress it, Accountant is just fine with me.” He cut me off as his smile widened,- which I didn’t even know was possible.
“Right,” I forced a laugh. “Well, it is just a pleasure to-”
“Please, the pleasure’s all mine, Mister Carson. Tell me, how’s the office treating you today?” He cut me off again.
He talked so fast I had to blink and regain myself to keep up.
“Well, good! I’m excited to get my start here at level 40, I can’t believe it’s already been a week, it flew by so fast.” I said.
He laughed heartily as his posture softened. He seemed genuinely happy, but the laugh felt practiced, or scripted. He then lifted up his cane and rested it on his shoulder, the crow’s beak facing outward. “That’s excellent, Mister Carson. Well, let’s take a look at those numbers.” He said as his eyes moved from me to my desk.
“Yes, of course.” I said as I rushed over to my desk to grab my yearly and quarterly reports.
I handed the pile of papers to him in a rush. His face dropped from his jovial expression as his brow furrowed and his smile flattened. His eyes were wide and focused as he read every sheet.
“That’s the entire fiscal year, with the quarterly summaries, all separated numerically… and oh, all the accounts are color-coded.” I added.
“Hmm, something’s not right here… sorry what was your first name again?”
My stomach dropped as his eyes scanned me again. A lump rose in my throat as I forced out, “Jake, sir.”
“Ahh, Jake. Well, we’re just going to step into my office really quick and we’ll figure this out together. Don’t you worry.” His voice was smooth as he leaned in closer to me.
With heat rising in my cheeks and fear and sweat washing down my back, I stood up and followed him. I felt Derek’s eyes linger on me as I passed him. My eyes were locked onto the handle of the Accountant’s cane, which still sat on his shoulder.
“Jake, how are you? It’s been a while.” The Accountant grinned as his jovial tone washed through the air. His smile was so sincere I didn’t even want to correct him by telling him this is our first meeting. The office was cold, and dark. Everything in it was devoid of color. The seats and the floor were all grey, and the long desk we sat in was black.
“Well, all things considered, good… I’d say.” I replied.
“That sounds great,” he said, his smile fading. “Tell me, how long have you been with us?”
“A bit over a year now,” I said, my voice shaky.
“Wow, and on level forty already! What a climb!” He exclaimed, leaning back into his chair. “With this dedication, I wonder what you make time for outside of here- I mean, how do you make time for anything?” His excited voice wafted through the air as it sent a shock through me.
“Well, actually I feel like I’m breaking old habits. With this salary and lovely environment at the company I feel more confident to step out of my comfort zone.” I explained. Which was true, but I need to be careful about how much of the truth I can actually tell.
“That sounds great, Jake. I wonder how this could be affecting your performance however.” He said, as he looked over at my reports.
I froze. “What?” the word escaped my mouth before my lips could grab it. “I feel it’s been on the up and up, actually,” I had to regain the jovial tone. I had to commit. I had to be doing better.
“Well, Jake. I am sorry but these numbers aren’t exactly adding up the way we had planned.” He winced as what seemed to be disappointment emerged in his eyes as he looked back down at my reports again. “Y’know it’s just something in them.” He shook his head.
“The way everything is set up, something’s telling me you’re just not all in it. But don’t worry, it’s an easy fix. We just have to talk about what’s been going on,” The Accountant leaned forward and laid his hat on the table. His voice was calm. It carried a calculated corporate excitement as it added weight to the air around me.
“Like… Like what?” I stammered.
“Oh you know, personal things. Things that might not feel appropriate to talk about in the office, but as you know by now Jake, this is a safe space.” His demeanor shifted. He leaned back and scratched his pencil mustache, as my brain ran through how my numbers could be anything but perfect.
“Well, I finally started going to the gym, even asked a girl there on a date.” I shrugged. It seemed irrelevant but his eyes gleamed when I finished speaking.
“That’s great! What did she say?” He laughed. He seemed genuinely happy.
“She said yes, actually.” I said awkwardly as a smile crept onto my face. “It’s actually this Thursday since she nurses on the weekends. She’s a part time trainer.” His face dropped when I mentioned Thursday, but then quickly morphed back to the cheery inquisitiveness. His eyes widened and his smile firm.
“Well that’s a no no no no no no no, Jake. I am sorry, but come on, we can’t be losing focus here.” His voice crept down to a murmur as he shook his head. The air hung on every no, he repeated.
“What- what do you mean?” I asked. “With my performance, I thought we agreed on some PTO, some vacation?”
“Jake,” He said as he tilted his head, dejected. “We made a deal. Remember?”
“Yeah when I signed up, on the application and the employment-” I trailed, nervously.
“Jaaaake.” He interjected. “Not that deal. The other one. Before we hired you.”
I froze. The room went blurry and I was in a daze. “I- I’m sorry?” I asked, “I’m not quite following,” I continued.
“Why did you sign on to work at this company, Jake?” He said, his tone was deep and his face was serious. Gone from his face was that practiced, plastered on excitement- and I desperately wanted it back.
“Well, I have a passion for numbers and accounting, and the environment here is amazing, and the benefits are so generous. It’s hard not to want to work here,” I said as I feigned a look of excitement.
“That all sounds nice. We’re really glad to have such an ambitious worker as yourself in our ranks.” He said as his smile crept back onto his face.
“I really appreciate that, sir.” I nodded.
“Alright listen,” He said as he waved his hands in the air and stood up. He grabbed a black briefcase from underneath the table and brought it over to me. “With your ambitions stated, and everything we’ve talked about, I feel you’re ready for another climb up the ladder.”
“Yes. Yes I am.” My head bobbed anxiously in agreement.
“Good,” he said as he opened the briefcase and pulled out a packet, sliding it in front of me. “We just need you to sign this contract and…” he pointed at a doubled door across the room from us, and it slid open- revealing the ladder. “You’re ready.” He continued.
The ladder. It’s right there.
“Yes, sir.” A jolt shot through me and instantly I grabbed a pen from the middle of the table and started skimming the packet. Before I could sign, something felt off.
I had to agree to give up music, and… my date? How does he?
I looked up at him, my jaw clenched.
“Who are you?” I croaked. “I can’t sign this.”
His face was cold, calculating. His eyes were deep dark pits that didn’t end. The longer I stared the more I got sucked into them.
“You really don’t remember me?” His brow furrowed.
The contents of my stomach dared its way into my chest. I felt sick.
“You’ve forgotten plenty of important people, Jake Carson. Far more important than me.” Shallow. His voice was too shallow. The life that was in it earlier was fake. He was a mannequin playing human.
And then I blinked.
He looked like me. I was staring at myself. The Accountant’s features were completely gone, and it was me now with those black pits replacing my eyes. Pulling me in. And before I could react, he lunged at me. I jumped backwards out of my chair to brace for his tackle, but I didn’t feel it. And when I opened my eyes the office was gone, and I was in a band room. My band room from high school.
As I got up, I was heaving. My breathing was jagged and my mouth went completely dry.
I was looking at myself, on the stage, tuning my new guitar.
I remember this.
This memory still haunts me.
“No!” I shouted, as I paced forward to try and stop myself, and I ran into an invisible barrier. My face smashed into nothing as the room became more vivid. The crowd waited in anticipation. This was my tryout. I failed.
The Accountant’s voice draped over my ears.
“Remember this?” He hissed. I whipped around to face him.
His fedora and pencil mustache were back. Along with that damned bureaucratic grin.
“What is this?” I panted as my chest rose and fell. Sweat dripped down from my forehead.
“Remember their faces after you flubbed that solo?” He nodded in the direction of the memory. “The disappointment from your crush, Ava,” he stepped closer as the memory of her face squinting at my pitiful performance shot through me like a needle.
He leaned back and let out a maniacal laugh. “And you still want to play music? Are you kidding me, Jake?”
My jaw was quivering so bad it forced my lips apart.
“I-I’ve gotten better…” I hesitated. “It’s what I want,”
“Is it really?” His eyes widened at me like a predator staring at its prey. “This is when we met, Jake. I was there.”
My heart sank.
“Now, let’s take a look at that contract we signed,” he said as he lunged at me again with his palm stretched to cover my eyes. Before I could react, my eyes blinked open and I saw myself in my parent’s backyard. It was dark, and chilly. It had to be past midnight, as the grass had already collected morning dew. Another horrible memory. One that still flashes through my mind in my dark moments.
“Stop! Please!” I begged, screaming up at the star-studded sky fruitlessly. I looked around for the Accountant but couldn’t see him, and then… I spotted myself.
I was alone. In the backyard because there was no room in my house for me to grieve or even to talk about what was going on. We got shamed for having emotions in there.
So there I was, at the bitter end of a two year relationship, in the middle of summer after I graduated high school. Alone. It happened over text, and as I saw my younger self scrolling through my phone I could tell by the harrowing expressions on my face what I was looking at.
“He must’ve been way better at pleasing her than you ever were, huh?” His voice cut through the chilling air from behind me. I jumped, and turned to him but didn’t look at him. My eyes stayed locked onto the wet grass, as I forced my ears to cling onto the sound of the breeze slipping through the branches and leaves of the trees in the neighborhood. Anything but the sobbing I heard behind me.
“Pleased her more in one night than you ever could in two years. Yeesh.” The Accountant snarled. I trembled. My knees almost buckled as the intrusive thoughts and images of her and him together flashed through my mind.
It was cold. It was so cold.
He stepped toward me. “It really was your fault, Jake. You pushed her away. Never really could get over that addiction could you?” His voice cut through the breeze as my legs gave out and my knees buried into the grass.
“This was it. I was here too. This is when we signed the contract.”
I couldn’t look up at him. My eyes were locked onto the grass as I warped in and out of reality. Derealization was a survival tactic at this point.
“No schools were accepting you, music had fallen out of your schedule and Kira cheated on you. And she was proud of it!” He snapped at me.
“You ended up taking business for four years and worked your way here.” His voice was condescending. “Level forty, in one year, Jake. One year. And you’re about to throw it away to try dating again? Music? You can’t be serious.” He laughed.
As tears trailed down my face, staring at the grass of my old house’s backyard, he leaned down and placed his mouth near my ear. I could feel the heat from his breath.
“We guarantee your success. Your wealth. And most importantly we’ll keep you safe from this!” He stood up again as he stomped his black dress shoe into the grass. “You just have to sign the contract, and give it up.”
I looked up at him. My face was cold from the tears.
“Give what up?” I mumbled weakly.
His eyes went cold as his face straightened up. A smirk crept onto his face before his lips parted, his tone steady, his face taut.
“Your soul.” He said.
He rushed at me again before the shock could run through my body. This time, when I came to, I was back in his office, his black pits still staring down at me as if nothing ever happened.
I leaned back in the chair away from him, my eyes wide.
“I’m not signing this.” I said as I gulped. “I went to therapy in college, I wrote some music. I’ve gotten better.” I continued desperately.
“Jake,” the Accountant said, disappointment laced in his tone. He loomed over me like a dark shadow, as his cane emerged from behind him. Then with both hands, he swung it down at me from over his head, causing me to push off of him as I barreled away from him in the chair.
I fell out of the seat and stood up to regain myself.
“Jake, we both know this is the better choice!” He shouted as he pointed the silver tip of the crow’s beak down at the contract.
“I still have a chance!” I retorted, finally finding my resolve. In that moment where will found its way back into my body I charged at him and tackled the Accountant to the ground. And then sheer will was replaced with anger. Rage filled every punch as I hammered away at his face. His fedora had fallen off, his cane on the other side of the room.
“I don’t have to work here. I don’t need you!” I shouted.
More intrusive thoughts crashed through my mind causing the rage and adrenaline to drain from my body. I stood up, looking down at the Accountant’s bruised face.
“Heheh,” he chuckled. “A little more fight in you than most. I admire that.” He groaned.
I walked over to where the door had been but it disappeared. The only way out of his office now was the ladder.
“Go on,” he probed, still lying on the ground. “You could slide down, now. Get out there. And try again. But you and I both know how that ends.”
Intrusive thoughts flooded my mind. It was hard to look at the ladder when every thought contributed to a twitch, and an impulse throughout my body. I turned to face the ladder.
“But you could climb up. Imagine how easy it would be. The peace of your mind not being constantly strangled by your shortcomings. Your insecurities. We can make you secure. We can ensure your safety from that damned feeling of embarrassment.” He continued, as his voice cascaded down my body like liquid.
“Just give it up, and you’ll be successful. No more heartbreak. No more failure. Just make the climb.”
I looked over at him, still wounded and on the ground, now smiling. Still with that calculated look on his face. I turned back to the ladder. Now I see why those people on the top lost their color.
Somehow, instead of pity I felt envy for those dwelling at the lower levels. As my life flashed through my mind I could feel myself weighing the options. What the outcome will bring.
I stepped towards the ladder.
I looked down at the escape, there was color, yeah, but not for me. Not anymore.
I looked up and saw grey peering at me from the top.
I reached and grabbed onto a rung and swung my legs onto the ladder. I sighed, and then climbed. One rung, then two. Then five. And then I was at the next level. There’s nothing out there for me anymore.
Outside, the Accountant walked to his car. The skies were grey, and the winds were heavy yet his fedora and coat stayed on. He walked up to his black hearse, and opened the trunk. He paused for a moment and opened the briefcase to gaze upon his prize. His victory. As pride oozed from his face he let out a joyful sigh, before closing it up and tossing the briefcase in the wide trunk of the hearse. He galloped towards the driver’s seat and sat his cane down in the passenger, the crow’s beak facing the window.
Then, he drove home for the night- to rest before collecting more actuaries the next day.
Velocity 
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