In the darkness of feeling alone, othered, there’s always a light. A spark. Through loneliness comes music, comes songs of embracing the otherness and the realization that you aren’t alone. Others are right there with you.
That’s what Sparkbird brings us in the new album Head Like a Nest, which hit Spotify on Nov. 14. The album is a journey filled with whimsy, heartache, and self acceptance, with a large lexicon and near masterful instrumentation.
Stephan Nance, better known online as Sparkbird, is a non-binary singer-songwriter who released their first song “Minor Holiday” in 2021.
But what made them such a hit, earning them more than 334,000 monthly listeners on Spotify? That’s all thanks to the community surrounding Minecraft content creators and Sparkbird’s ability to draw attention to the fans who use their songs for cosplay videos.
These videos typically open with “(Number) incredible cosplays to my new song (Title).” The fandoms and fan communities rallied around them, using more songs, making animatics and more cosplays. In turn, they revealed they too were in the fan trenches for these same Minecraft content creators.
What makes this album special is that it’s a tribute to a younger Sparkbird who found healing through writing music. The songs do not deal with the love of another, but learning to love the self and understanding that being different is the most wonderful thing a person can be.
“Sparkbird”
The first track feels like Sparkbird is talking to themself from the past. As the opening song and the track named after their own moniker, it acts as a way to introduce their love of birds and that they feel like they’ve had to grow up too fast.
“I’m growing up, up, up, Against my will.”
“November”
The name itself is unassuming for the sad story about to be told with strings and piano. The story can be many things–learning to heal from old self harm habits, sexual abuse, or whatever other meaning the listener can pull from it. One thing is certain: It is the path of healing, not blaming the self, and knowing the path you took made you who you are. The word “no” holds the same meaning in many languages.
“In tongues all over the world.”
“After the Ball”
“I thought a performance was what y’all expected.”
“After The Ball” seems to be the story of getting singled out for being “superfluous.” Two against one, acting to get rid of the singer. While the song starts off with the narrator talking about being singled out, it ends with realizing that being the self is better than whatever the others had become.
“I value grit over fancy tricks anyway.”
“Arboretum”
This is the most tree-and-bird-reference-packed song.
“Nothing lasts forever if you never let it start.”
It feels like they had a connection to someone and let it die out, only to regret it later on. Either that or it’s about mourning the person you once were. It’s not clear, and maybe that’s the point. Or maybe they just wanted a song to talk about birds and trees. One thing is clear, the ending is about realizing that in the darkness, creativity can bloom, but it shouldn’t be for long. Reality is harsh but it’s all we really have.
“Mayday!”
This song is framed with a metaphor of a ship commander who is possibly meant to be the head of a household, with the line, “always the cult of domesticity.” Maybe it’s a way to talk about domestic abuse but staying in a relationship because of the love a person is manipulated into feeling.
“Even as the back-of the hand still burns-from the last air strike.”
“Sun Goes Dark”
This is the story of growing up, the only song to make me cry. When I realized what it was about, it hit me very hard.
“Who would have ever thought summer would pass so fast.”
The “sun going dark” is meant to represent being forced to grow up. After the first verse, the song talks about having to live in the “adult” world and knowing that they will never “act their age.” It hits me every time I listen to the song.
“Envy”
This one feels like seasonal depression but also the stress of being a creator. The envy is likely targeted at people who seem to not feel that sort of thing, the people at the top.
“Almost nothing can hurt me like thinking of you.”
It’s the feeling of thinking the people around you are doing better, be it a real person or the idea of a person.
“Grievances”
“We should probably discuss it when I see you in hell.”
At the end of the song, Sparkbird lists nine things they wanted to call out while in a toxic relationship, never being able to until years after leaving their ex-partner. This is one of the angrier songs on the album, helped by the intense piano and the phrase, “and for all the shit you talk about me.” This is the first time I’ve heard them use a hard curse word. It’s my favorite song on the album.
“Wooden”
“You will always be you, and I think that’s a good person to be.”
This song tells us that despite the things other people will do and say “when they shoot you down to prove that they exist,” we should stay true to ourselves. It might hurt, but so long as we get up and stay authentic and see what good that will be, we shouldn’t waste our time on things that don’t matter.
“What A Lark”
The theme of this one falls under the category of being yourself, fiercely and weirdly yourself.
“You bloom into awakeness.”
The meaning is not nearly as clear, but I like to think it’s a story of waking up to see the real you that burns under the mask.
“Atlantisia”
This is the song that feels like telling someone that the way you’ve been acting has been a mask, and for the first time it’s not.
“Maybe I’ve changed, but I look at me and I don’t think I’m strange.”
People from your past may see you as different from the person you are now, and that’s a good thing, so long as the person you are is the one you are the most comfortable being.
“The Light That Comes Through”
“Light” feels like yet another learning of the self.
“You’re more than stained glass, you’re the light that comes though.”
Sparkbird calls this the end of the bloom but not the growing season. People still have time to change and grow, but at some point we stop developing a personality and need to find it.
“Rebreather”
Prominent horns give this song a different vibe from the others. The story is about climbing out of the past, not alone but with help. Moving on from the darkness of the past is not easy, but with help and determination it is possible.
“This wind could blow ice into anyone’s lungs, I’m grateful that mine have thawed.”
The last song on this album, it feels fitting that it’s about moving past the hurt of the past but not forgetting it.
I highly recommend taking this album on with lyrics open. Overall, it’s a story of mourning the loss of childhood, growing up too fast, learning that people are not nearly as good as we hope they are, and learning that being yourself is hard but it’ll be okay.
All of that will stay with you. It’s a matter of whether you rise above it or lose yourself to that darkness.
Please remember, you aren’t alone. You do matter to someone.
Velocity 
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