I don’t know who looks back at me in the mirror.

I don’t know who they are-

Who you are?

Who I am?

I don’t know.

I mean, I know who that is,

But that’s not me?

Sure, they look like me,

But that reflection wears my old mask.

It’s cracked-

No, the mirror is cracked.

The mirror…

I can stare at it for seconds-

Minutes-

Hours-

Days-

Weeks-

Months-

Years!

And yet it will never change.

Still that broken mask-

Someone I no longer am

Always looking back at me.

I don’t wear that mask-

I am no longer that person-

Right?

Maybe if I tap at the crack?

Tap at the crack-

Tap at the crack-

TAP AT THE CRACK! –

…tap at it…

Maybe then I can shatter it.

Shatter this broken mirror.

After all I am not the person that it reflects

I am Not that person-

I am not that broken mask.

I gave up hiding a long time ago-

Right? 

Sometimes mirrors can be wrong-

But I’m not looking at a funhouse mirror…

I don’t know who I want to see in my reflection

But I know what I don’t-

I don’t want that mask anymore!

I want to be myself!

The person who’s trapped underneath-

I don’t think I know who that is…

I don’t think that reflection is me-

But I don’t know who “me” is.

I know who I am not

Who I don’t want to be…

Maybe the mask is cracked

Because I’m learning…

Maybe I’ll never know.

Maybe the cracks are me,

The me I want to be

Not the pretending

The real me…

Maybe I’ll never know who that is

But I’m starting to like the cracks,

Because that is me.

I am not a perfect person,

I am a flawed person.

But I am happy. 

For real this time.

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PHOTO BY KATELYN GREER FOR UNSPLASH