I’d like to say thank you

To all the little things

To the things that make me feel better

To Luna moths for giving me inspiration

To the bees that live in my front yard

To the honey bees for being a symbol

To the bumblebee who let me pet it

To lightning bugs for keeping the child in me alive.

To the trees, flowers, and all kinds of critters

And to those who make me feel safe.

Who make the world feel like it’s not crashing down around me

Who make things better because I have somewhere to go if things get bad

That I’ll always have a place.

To the people who make me feel like being me is enough even if my mind tells me it’s not.

To the people who can understand.

To friends who make my life more fun

To my siblings for understanding that I’m weird and just going with it

To my parents who try their best to be the best they can be.

To…

To…

Who’s left?

I’ve gone down my list,

There’s no one left to thank.

I don’t do anything for me…do I?

I mean I shut myself down,

I make myself feel bad

I-

I can also make myself happy.

I do things for myself and only myself

No else needs to see the silly little things

I write for me because it helps.

I guess it’s also thank me?

…

Sorry it’s just…

It’s funny because the people who know me,

They know I don’t hold myself in high regard.

I mean…

I’m the root of all my problems, aren’t I?

Over thinking

Under planning

Overthinking the under planning!

I mean I can’t even look in the mirror most days,

Well, not without seeing the flaws.

There’s thoughts that aren’t mine,

I know they aren’t good

That they’re bad

But they are so loud.

They will scream when the positive only whispers.

So why should I thank myself after that?

I think I have no self worth,

Despite others telling me otherwise,

But again the voices always win.

One bad interaction,

One bad day is all it takes

All it takes to send me back weeks.

All it takes.

So again, why would I thank myself!

I mean small pointless things make my anxiety spike.

I fear doing something new just because of that,

I mean yeah, that’s natural, but to the degree it happens to me?

Likely not.

God I hate myself…

no…

no I don’t…

I mean I do and I don’t?

I have so many bad qualities yet a few positive ones?

…I guess if I wasn’t the way I was I wouldn’t…

Wouldn’t know the people or do the things I do.

I guess I’m alright…

Kinda.

So uh, thank you to me?

For being…?

I don’t know, I guess.

And thank you for listening to me.