Why love? 

Why hurt?

Why hate? 

Why feel?

I hate you.

I love you,

I hate me

I hate that I love you

I hate that you love me

You love me? 

I hate that I look in your eyes and see the best of me

I love it, though

But why?

So addicting

This feeling 

Infatuated by you but is it you?

Is it me? 

Why is it you?

You act like you knew

everything about me like 

a puzzle to solve

a case to crack

the way you got involved 

in my life I had to act

Building up walls 

to see if you would break them down

And you did, but it hurt so I pushed

I had given up on myself 

So I didn’t feel loved- yet here you are, 

Like the elf on the shelf

You would not just go away.

Until you got tired and I held on for it

Begging you to come back 

Promising I’ll change 

And I love you I love you 

I swear that I do 

I just don’t know how to show it.

You broke down my walls but in turn 

I felt broken. 

You deserved so much back so much 

More than I was willing to give

But I wanted to 

Why does it hurt? 

Why should I feel?

Why can I look in your eyes and see me, beautiful

Yet when I look in the mirror I see me, disgust.

The day of hurt 

The day of pain 

The day that you left

Put me to shame

The love that I had 

so strong 

but the walls that I built 

I pushed you away but 

I wanted you to hold on 

You broke me down and built me up

yet without you I feel like I’m stuck

in my prison of walls made to protect me

So why did it hurt?

Why did I love?

Why do I hate you?

Yet care about you so much?

Through love you showed me

my prison, for which only I held the key

Regardless of the pain and hurt 

I will feel this feeling again

because you showed me

that regardless of pain,