If you hadn’t guessed from the store shelves packed with red and pink paraphernalia, Valentine’s Day is here. We cannot seem to escape the “love.” But under the layers of hearts and chocolates lies something more sinister. For many, this holiday is their worst nightmare.

According to a survey of 2000 people conducted by the dating app Plenty of Fish, 43 percent of singles said Valentine’s Day was the most “pressure-filled holiday.”

“I think it’s what a lot of people call a ‘Hallmark holiday,’ where a lot of the profits don’t really benefit anyone in a particular way,” said Moraine Valley student Jenny Deblecourt. “A lot of people are left out and not in relationships and really don’t have a spouse or significant other to share the holiday with.”

The concept of a Hallmark holiday also takes a toll on our wallets, encouraging the need to spend money to show affection. According to a spending survey done by the National Retail Federation, Americans spent $23.9 billion on Valentine’s Day.

According to a survey of 2000 people conducted by the dating app Plenty of Fish, 43 percent of singles said Valentine’s Day was the most “pressure-filled holiday.”

This consumerism takes away from the very love the holiday intends to promote, say some.

“I just feel it’s highly commercialized,” said business student Alia Rivera, 19. “In a way I almost dread it. But that’s only if I’m single. And it’s not because of being single, it’s also just the potential of having people give me gifts. I don’t know why.”

Moraine Valley counselor Kate Melody agrees: “I’m not really a Valentine’s day person. I do think when my kids were younger it was kind of fun to get them little trinkets and Valentine’s.”

The consumerism is no different than that of other major holidays, points out earth science professor Nabil Kanja. “Like other holidays like Halloween and Christmas it’s about buying things, getting money from people,” he said. 

The problems go beyond consumerism, however, creating societal norms that many people feel they have to conform to.

“What are you going to do? Who are you going to ask? If you’ve just started dating for a month, what do you do for Valentine’s Day? If you’ve been dating for years, what do you do for Valentine’s Day? I think it’s exhausting,” said Melody.

Inclusivity is lacking with Valentine’s Day. Moraine Valley student Kit Harvey explains the holiday’s impact on the asexual and aromantic community. “[It leaves out] people who don’t feel romantic love. Because I feel like it can be any love but it’s really focused on [romance].”

Many people feel this invisible pressure to get into a relationship. Seeing everyone else conform leads to a fear of standing out, even for those who are generally happy being single.

“It’s about relationships and love, and if you don’t happen to have that, the kind of relationship that you want in your life or the kind of love that you want in your life, it can be really frustrating and cause people self-doubt and make them feel bad,” said Melody.

A poll by Plenty of Fish in 2020 showed 51 percent of singles felt pressured to feel romantic and 43 percent said they felt pressured to be in a relationship at Valentine’s Day.

But at the holiday’s core, the message of love persists. Melody explains the importance of loving everyone around you, not just on Valentine’s Day.

“I think it’s more important to show people that you appreciate them every day, or as much as you can on a regular basis, as opposed to waiting for a holiday to do it,” she said.

Nursing student Nicole Carroll agrees. “I think it’s just a day where you can show your significant other that you love them, in a different way,” she says.

“I’m the kind of person who would rather you bring me tacos rather than flowers.”

Moraine Valley Counselor Kate Melody

James Michalik, Criminal justice major, has no mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day. “I’ve never felt sad on Valentine’s Day,” he said, “even on days I don’t have a Valentine. I’m usually happy for others.”

Friends Jakyla Bogan and Juliana Ramirez don’t take the holiday too seriously. “I think it’s more of a to each your own,” Bogan said. Ramirez added, “I don’t think it’s that serious. I think it’s just a cutesy little thing.” 

For some, the cliche gifts and celebrations just don’t fit their lifestyle, and they would rather be shown appreciation with small things or just by being there.

” I have been married for 26 years, so it kind of is like another day,” said Lynn Granz, secretary for Academic Services. “We get each other candy and a card and that’s pretty much it. We don’t go crazy.”

Carroll, 33, says she doesn’t feel pressure to celebrate expensively: “Gonna stay in, and order a heart-shaped pizza.”

Melody has her own idea of the ideal Valentine’s Day gift: “I’m the kind of person who would rather you bring me tacos rather than flowers.”

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FEATURED IMAGE GRAPHIC BY AMY ALDEIR

C.C. Callis and JRN 111 (Media Writing) students Ryan Anderson, Curtis Baker, Sammy Ramirez, Logan Sellers and Samaa Yousef contributed to this report.