I don’t remember much of last December. However, I do remember that the EP “So Much Wine” by Pheobe Bridgers was the soundtrack of that winter for me. I was convinced that this EP was handcrafted for me, meticulously put together with care and placed in my life by the hands of the universe because I needed to feel less alone.
At the time, I didn’t know if the universe even had a plan for me, or thought of me. I didn’t have belief in anything. I felt lost and like the end was closer and closer. The end of what? I had absolutely no idea. But I felt like I, myself, was a ticking time bomb that no one could disarm before I hit 00:01. Somehow, miraculously, I made it through December 2022, and I’m making it through again.
The EP is comprised of covers of holiday songs, opening with the title track, ‘So Much Wine.” The song was originally released in 2000 by The Handsome Family, consisting of the husband-and-wife duo Brett and Rennie Sparks. The song delves into the point of view of observing a loved one grappling with alcoholism. I couldn’t tell you when I first heard this song, but I knew as soon as the chords struck me, it was special.
This song is about the realization that there is only a certain amount of comfort one can gain from drinking, and that eventually that comfort can no longer save one from their personal struggles and anxieties. To me this song always went far beyond being about alcohol; it has a sense of hope that really helped me find my way.
But the song that really felt like I was finally heard for once was “Day After Tomorrow,” which was originally written by Tom Waits and his collaborator and wife, Kathleen Brennan.
The lyrics take the form of a soldier’s letter to his family and reflects on the yearning for comfort back home and the anticipation of returning there in the near future.
Waits references Rockford, Illinois, inspired by a news article about a soldier’s death in that town. However, the song’s focus is not specifically on that soldier; it’s crafted to be ambiguous, so it could be applicable to any soldier in any war. The song delves into themes of faith and spirituality, with the soldier questioning the role of God in deciding who lives and dies in war. The soldier also contemplates the senselessness of war and the tragic loss of lives on all fronts, leading to doubts about the decisions made by those in positions of authority.
In essence, “Day After Tomorrow” serves as a heartfelt reflection on the emotional hardships of war and expresses a yearning for peace and a restoration of normalcy.
“I was convinced that this EP was handcrafted for me, meticulously put together with care and placed in my life by the hands of the universe because I needed to feel less alone.”
“If We Make it Through December” is the track that became a warm hug to mein this time of my life. The song was originally written by Merle Haggard. Despite not fitting the mold of a traditional Christmas song, it has emerged as an anthem for the working class during a challenging time of the year.
While some associate Christmas with Santa Claus, “White Christmas,” and festive scenes beneath the Christmas tree, this composition serves as a reminder that this isn’t the experience for everyone.
Phoebe Bridgers’ “If We Make It Through December” explores the challenges and adversities that individuals commonly confront during the coldest and most demanding time of the year. The narrative unfolds around a character who has lost their job at a factory, navigating tough circumstances amidst the holiday season.
The chorus underscores the narrator’s resilience and optimism, conveying the belief that enduring December’s trials will eventually lead to better days. Despite December symbolizing a period of struggle and uncertainty, the narrator maintains hope for a brighter future.
In the verses, the narrator shares their efforts to create a special Christmas for a loved one, despite facing financial hardships. Their diligent work reflects a desire to offer a joyous celebration. However, the harsh reality sets in as they realize their inability to fulfill their little girl’s Christmas wishes due to financial constraints. The song delves into the heartache and melancholy associated with economic challenges during a season typically linked with joy and abundance.
The EP concludes with “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas,” a song that never fails to evoke emotions. Upon first hearing Bridgers’ rendition, I doubted the lyrics that promise, “Next year, all our troubles will be miles away.” Yet here I am, a year later, experiencing a sense of peace, listening to the EP with tears in my eyes—not from sorrow like last year, but from the pride that I am okay.
Velocity 
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